Well, I have confirmation from a completely objective outside source that the Langleys are “good people.”
It happened like this: it was warm yesterday evening. That is, it was warm in the house, and cooler outside. I opened the front door but left the screen closed, to let in the fresh air. The screen has some special design so that we can see out but no one can see in. I was sitting on the couch doing a crossword puzzle, listening to the sounds of people walking by and chatting in the cool evening, the birds singing.
And then I heard one man, very distinctly, say to his companion, “Oh look! This is good people here! Zero water! No watering at all!”
And there you have it. He didn’t know I could hear him, so it was a completely objective statement.
You see, our lawn is dead as a door nail. Because of the historic drought, and the new executive order to cut water use, the previously complicated issue of figuring out who is good and who is bad is now as easy as strolling down the street. The man across the street from us, he’s clearly very, very bad. His lawn is lush and green. And we, with our brown lawn, are very, very good.
I guess that’s one advantage of the drought: moral clarity. How nice.
But I wonder what other effects this drought is going to have, in the coming months. It’s going to be very hot, and very parched looking, this summer. Yesterday there was a note on our door saying that all irrigation on the central green strip of our street has been shut off. Sorry for the inconvenience.
What will it mean for our family? Heat, dead lawns and ugliness are not good for dispositions prone to depression and rage. I’m a bit apprehensive.
Oh who am I kidding. I’m a lot apprehensive, and I have been for years. For good reason.
But at least I’m a good person.