The inner beauty

Today was our big student recital at Valley Music Center, and another teacher and I played our piano/cello duet.  I’ve been living with that music for weeks, humming it as I sat in the dentist office waiting room with Julia, humming it as I washed dishes, humming it as I walked the dog.

Someone posted our performance on the Valley Music Center facebook page, and I just listened to it.  My cello playing sounds, well, adequate.  A bit thin.  A bit small.  Nothing like the torrents of beauty that I feel when I play it.  You can’t even tell from my face that I love that music, that I feel it soaring within.  Nope.  I’m just sitting there, moving my bow back and forth.

Oh well.  I know what’s in there, under the surface.  Maybe this is just another reminder for me to suspect torrents of beauty under the surface of other people.  As we head into another year, as we turn our thoughts toward the Christmas story . . . (there was a lot under the surface of that story), I want to be listening for the inner beauty.


One thought on “The inner beauty

  1. Ok, I found the link on facebook and listened to your performance and I am so in awe of you! You are so inspiring! I am so amazed that you were able to play that from memory after just picking up the cello and teaching yourself how to play! And using different positions and shifting. Your playing was beautiful!I love the cello too and wish I played it. Maybe I will pick up the cello , too, sometime. After I perfect the accordion.I think what I find so inspiring about you is that you just decide what you want to do that will bring you joy and you just do it. Including quitting your job in Portland! It’s funny, because , I brought the accordion to my kids classes and played a few minutes for the kids last year, and my dad happened to be visiting and caught some of it on videotape. When I listened to it, I had a similar thought that you describe when watching yourself play. Like it didn’t sound like how I felt the music when I was playing. It sounded so flat and uninspiring !

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