44 More

People at school are beginning to ask me (wistfully, perhaps?) if I’m counting the days.  No, I tell them.  Not yet.  What I don’t tell them is that there are still too many.  Knowing how many more  lie ahead is only going to make it seem harder.  One day is enough.  I’ll just focus on one day at a time.

But Joseph told me there are 44 days left.  His teacher announced that.  (You don’t suppose his teacher is counting the days.  Do any teachers really like their jobs?!).  And then Joseph told me to listen to some Star Wars quotes he found on the internet, and guess who said it.  I was pretty good at it.  It was a top ten list.  The number one quote was “I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” which just about everyone says in the movie.  But the one that caught my attention was Yoda saying “Do or do not.  There is no try.” I found myself thinking that one might also say “Live or live not.  There is no waiting.”

That’s the real reason I’m not counting the days.  I can’t live if I’m just waiting for the next 44 school days to pass.  Do not worry about tomorrow.  Each day has enough trouble of its own (and it wasn’t Yoda that said that).  Waiting is not really an inherently human option.  Sure, we fall into it a lot.  But it isn’t what we’re made for.  We’re made to live and be and experience.  Every moment.  Because after all, we have very little control over whether or not we’ll even be alive in the next moment.

But there I go, getting way to deep on Saturday morning.  No wonder I was attracted to a philosopher.  Speaking of whom, we are waiting (yes, I’m afraid so) to hear back from Fresno Pacific about the job Silas interviewed for over the phone yesterday.  It’s hard to rise above waiting.


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