Sunday afternoon, Joseph at a friend’s house, Silas at the grocery store, Peter on the couch with the laptop . . . just your regular sort of Sunday afternoon.  But I’m thinking about next Saturday.  Silas and I have given ourselves until next Saturday to decide whether we’re moving to Fresno or not.  It’s time.  We’ve dithered more than long enough, and it’s just time.  Plus this Saturday is a nice uneventful day, which makes it a good day to tell the boys what we’ve decided.  If we tell them we’re moving, we’ll need the rest of the day to deal with the turmoil, rage, possible holes in things, hopefully not trips to the emergency room.

I think I’m beginning to understand us all better.  We are all highly sensitive individuals.  (Did you know that there is actually a website  for Highly Sensitive Individuals, otherwise known as HSIs?  Well, there is.  Now you know).  Little things can be very hard for our family.  Such as Friday night, when Joseph invited a friend for a sleep over. It didn’t work.  The friend ended up going home at 10:30, and we were all a mess.  I don’t think that’s why the friend went home.  He just got homesick at the last moment.  But I had only one thing to say after the experience.  No more sleep overs.  None.  It just doesn’t work.  Not for us.

So you can see why something like selling our home, buying a different one, and moving to another state might give us all pause.  The safest option would be to hunker down where we are, let time pass, and hope for the best.  It would be much easier.  And less scary.  And why would anyone give up Portland, Oregon for Fresno, California?  Surely someone out there is asking that.

But the answer, while very personal, boils down to the fact that there is more to life than geography, and that hunkering down is not the best way to face life.  The best way is to walk boldly forward, through the twisting turning path of the labyrinth, believing you are getting closer to the center.  It isn’t the safest way.  But it is the best way.  That’s why we came to Portland, instead of hunkering down in Fresno, and we don’t regret it.  These have been good years.  It just feels now as if the path is turning back toward Fresno.

And by Saturday, the decision will be made.


2 thoughts on “Deciding

  1. Oh no! Now I’ll be nervous waiting until next Saturday or until your next post reveals the final decision! I’ll be sad if you and your family leaves. The church won’t be the same. If you decide to leave, at least I can console myself with the thought that maybe you will keep up your blog so I can keep reading your life!

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